Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
