I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
