i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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