Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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