Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
