Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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