Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
