he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
