i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
cat food counts as protein by the way
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
