Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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