They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
