god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
