My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
