Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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