What did we do last night that was yellow?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
