just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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