So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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