just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
