this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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