does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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