I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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