Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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