either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
