It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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