I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
