Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
