ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
