it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
