You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
love makes seman taste better
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
