What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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