So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
