If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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