I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I sprained my soul last night
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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