So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
