Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
