So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
