What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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