There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
