Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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