We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
