so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
