Whoa Z and x make the same sound
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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