Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
