I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
