What a fucking waste of an outfit
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
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