Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
