just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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