it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
