I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
