I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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