she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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