I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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