I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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