is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
COCAINE IS GR8
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
