God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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