I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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